


To Get a Job

by DrakkenWasHere



Category: Batman the Animated Series
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-30
Updated: 2010-08-30
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrakkenWasHere/pseuds/DrakkenWasHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-Mad Hatter and Scarecrow- When a certain two villains wish to retire from crime, how low would one go to get a job? CRACK! Drabble! Apparently now a series of drabbles...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Get a Job

**Author's Note:**

> **To Get a Job**

**To Get a Job**

**By: **DrakkenWasHere

**WARNING:** Implied Scarecrow/Hatter. However…Not how you think.

**Disclaimer:** I obviously don't own squat. I wish I did…But alas, I am merely a humble person. Batman and all of its characters go to DC comics. Any other characters may or may not be mine. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave five each. If your milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, leave a comment.

**Summary:** When a certain two villains wish to retire from crime, how low would one go to get a job?

~0~0~0~

"Seriously…I don't swing that way."

~Lemel Takk (the Author)

~0~0~0~

"…And that's exactly why I would be a perfect addition to your staff."

Ex-professor Jonathan Crane had just finished his long rant. He was sitting across a young woman, and hopefully soon to be employer. The Scarecrow was interviewing for a job, for he and the Mad Hatter were just tired of it all! They were weary of Gotham, its people, and the Batman. All the two wanted to do was retire, and spend the rest of their remaining days in peace. Since they both had the same desire, Jervis thought it would be best to do it together.

Apparently, the other went along with it.

The head of the bookstore nodded. "Yes, Mr. Smith, you do bring up some excellent points. And you have an amazing resume. But, how about you tell me more about your personal life? We like to think of ourselves as a family. And as you probably know, families know everything about each other."

"It says you just moved here from out of Gotham." She said as she read her notes. " Did you do it with your wife and kids?"

Crane looked unfazed. "I don't have any of those things."

"Oh…So you live alone?"

The lanky man was starting to feel uncomfortable. Being skilled in psychology, he could tell something was amiss. However, he could not tell what it was.

"Well," the Scarecrow paused," I do have a roommate."

"Ah! A 'roommate'." The blonde woman smiled. "You know, Mr. Smith, it's okay to tell me the truth. I find nothing wrong with having a gay lover."

Silence hung in the air; and, it was awkward. It was so silent, that you could practically hear the crickets chirp. However, that was quickly ceased when the insect was eaten by a little bird.

Crane broke the silence, while scowling. "Believe it or not, I'm not homosexual."

"Oh." The woman seemed disappointed. "That's too bad. You see, we are looking to hire someone of a minority. That's the only slot we have left, and we don't have any gays. So…"

The red-head stood very stiff and proud. No, he wouldn't stump so low. Scarecrow was a man with some morals, even if it seemed hard to fathom. He would not sell himself for a job, even if it was a wonderful one. No…Just no.

~0~0~0~

"Welcome home Jonathan!" The Mad Hatter greeted his friend gleefully, dressed in a frilly pink apron. "I made you a delightful treat, since I knew you were dreadfully nervous about getting the job. So I made you scones, and _more_ scones!"

Jonathan wearily sat down in his lazy-boy. He was in the living room of their shared apartment. The Scarecrow looked absolutely petrified.

"Dear," Jervis began, "What's wrong? Didn't you get the job?"

"Yes…I did."

"Splendid! Then why are you acting like a knave has stolen all of your tarts?"

Crane was quiet, and he continued with this for awhile. Tetch, on the other hand, began making his friend feel more comfortable. He removed Jonathan's shoes, gave him the daily paper, and some scones. In all honesty, the blonde man was acting like a perfect housewife.

The lanky man sighed. "Tetch…We have to pretend to be homosexual lovers."

~0~0~0~

THE END

~0~0~0~

**AN:**

Buhahahaha! You have NO idea how much I was laughing while writing this. Seriously, I almost got in trouble in class, while doing this. Wouldn't it have been hilarious if my teacher ended up taking this, and reading it? Oh man, that was fun.

This was random. And I'm angry that I can't blame it on anyone. It just came to me during Human Services class. But what makes it funny…is that I actually HEARD the voices in my head. It was too much to pass.

So…I guess in this one they aren't gay. But hey, that makes it a hoot. It's such a ridiculous reason to hire someone. But hey…it could happen. And as a woman, I'd make up any excuse to have someone as fine as Scarecrow to be around me. If he has to pretend to be gay, to do so, then by all means. (I'm b.s-ing here…But only a little.)

Oh, come on! Jervis is such a housewife. Even if he isn't homosexual, he still is a lovely wife. Guys and gals, wouldn't you like someone like that taking care of you? I know I would.


	2. Life has a Sick Sense of Humor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **To Get a Job**

**To Get a Job**

**The Unexpected Chapter Two:** Life has a Sick Sense of Humor

**By: **DrakkenWasHere

**WARNING:** Implied Scarecrow/Hatter. However…Not how you think.

**Disclaimer:** I obviously don't own squat. I wish I did…But alas, I am merely a humble person. Batman and all of its characters go to DC comics. Any other characters may or may not be mine. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave five each. If the boogieman sleeps under your bed, leave a comment.

**Summary:** When a certain two villains wish to retire from crime, how low would one go to get a job?

~0~0~0~

"Wait…WHAT?"

~Lemel Takk, (the Author)

~0~0~0~

"Another amazing sale there, Mr. Smith!"

Jonathan Crane had been working in the bookstore for over a month. Although he had trouble getting use to people, at first, he soon began enjoying his post. Not only was the lanky man surrounded by books, he also got to educate the customers on what they were buying. He hadn't noticed until he started the job, but he kind of…Well, MISSED teaching. Who knew his ways as an ex-professor would resurface?

Crane looked over towards his boss. "I would say so, Mrs. White. Who knew challenging a 'know-it-all' could make them buy so many books. I just hope the lad doesn't show up, again, and try to show me up."

"Indeed," the bookstore owner said, "Who would've thought you were such a genius in psychology?"

The red head smirked. He of course knew why he was so erudite in the area. Being a master of fear, he had to know quite a lot. Scarecrow not only knew how to fix a mind, but he also knew how to break it…into VERY tiny pieces…

Too bad that wasn't his life anymore.

"Let us say that I have dabbled in many different fields."

"Oh? Is that how you met your lover?"

Ugh. That woman. Why must she remind the intellectual of his situation? Because of HER, he was now a homosexual. At least, that's what society thought Jonathan was.

"Yes…That's exactly how we met." Crane began to get lost in his thoughts. "Though I found Jervis' obsession with literature to be highly exasperating, at first."

White smiled, "Oh? So 'Jervis' is his name? You've been here for a month, and haven't mentioned him once. While people like Harold and Becky always talk about their family."

Panic worked its way into his honey orbs. Did he…Did he just give away information? Was this woman slicker than he imagined? Jonathan straightened himself, and put up his callous attitude.

"Just because others see it as important to share their life stories, Mrs. White, doesn't mean I do. I am a very private person, and don't wish to disclose my personal matters onto anyone. My…significant other and I do not need to be discussed."

The tall woman closed their distance. Something Scarecrow wasn't quite happy with. "Please, call me by my first name. I'm simply "Ivory" here. And that's because we are a great big family! As a family, we discuss things about each other. Mama likes to know things about her children.

"Speaking of which…When are you going to invite me to dinner?"

Cranes blood ran cold. "Whu-What?"

"Yes. As your employer, and your 'mother', it's important to establish close relations. So about a month after the employee starts here, they usually invite my husband and I over for dinner."

"And if I refuse?"

Ivory White frowned, as she put an elbow on the counter. "Well that would mean you didn't care about your family. And I'd have to cut off all ties. In simpler terms: You'd be fired."

This woman was crazy! Uh-uh, no way was she sane. Her very logic could get her sentenced a couple years in Arkham. Not even the Joker was this awful and detached from reality. If Scarecrow wasn't retired…he would've gassed this plight by now.

"I have no intentions of leaving this job."

"Great!" The bookstore owner grinned widely. "My husband and I will be there at 7 pm tomorrow. Tell your 'Jervis' that we can't wait to meet him!"

And with that, she turned around and walked back to her office.

In all honesty, the red-head had no idea what happened. It almost felt as if he had just had a terrible acid trip. But he knew this not to be true for three reasons. Firstly, he had not consumed any toxins. Secondly, the world wasn't a rainbow of pretty colors. And the last reason, was because he didn't have the urge to watch "Pink Elephants on Parade". No…The ex-professor was as lucid as ever.

And he had never been more terrified.

~0~0~0~

END OF CHAPTER TWO

~0~0~0~

AN:

*sips tea* What? You guys asked for it, so now I'm force feeding you your poison. What kind of hell have you unleashed?

Heh. This is fun. It should be illegal to enjoy messing with the characters so much. Even though I find Mrs. White to be annoying, I can't help but like her. She's such a sick and twisted woman. And for Jonathan, the "villain" of the story.

Well, I guess the next part will be the actual dinner. Hopefully our two boys will be able to survive the night.


	3. Tea for Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **To Get a Job**

**To Get a Job**

**Chapter Three: **   
**Tea for Four**

**By:** DrakkenWasHere

**WARNING:** Implied Scarecrow/Hatter. However…Not how you think.

**Disclaimer:** I obviously don't own squat. I wish I did…But alas, I am merely a humble person. Batman and all of its characters go to DC comics. Any other characters may or may not be mine. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave five each. If that's the way the cookie crumbles, leave a comment.

**Summary:** When a certain two villains wish to retire from crime, how low would one go to get a job?

~0~0~0~

"You know, I've never been a people person."

~Lemel Takk (the Author)

~0~0~0~

Room 666. The owners of the apartment practically fell in love with the place at first sight. Although the Mad Hatter was a little keener on receiving room 42, he caved in when he saw how Jonathan's eyes sparkled with sadistic joy. The blonde rarely saw his friend happy, so he quickly ceased his begging. Scarecrow enjoyed any victories he could get, no matter how small.

Meanwhile, inside, Tetch was finishing setting up the table for his dinner guests. The man was certainly confused, at first. However, after explaining the situation, the hatter eagerly began creating the feast. Anything to help Crane keep his job. That and he'd get to show others his culinary skills. There was a wonderland of assorted dishes on the table. Practically anything you could've thought of, it was there.

And of course the blue eyed man made tea. All great parties had it. And as the Mad Hatter, he was known for serving it.

The red-head had walked into the room, right after Jervis finished. Crane walked over, gazing at the table approvingly.

"Hm. There's pasta with shrimp, in a cream of mushroom sauce. There is even mutton. I must say, Tetch, you have outdone yourself. And…is that bread pudding?"

The blonde's eye orbs seemed to wink at him. "Of course! I made it for my special 'Puddin'."

Scarecrow, on the other hand, didn't find the other's comment to be funny. "Watch it. If I wasn't retired, I would've gratefully turned you into a little puddle of panic."

In all honesty, Jervis wasn't sure if that was true. In his opinion, Jonathan was sweeter than he let himself appear. Of course the blonde knew the man was capable of harm; but, he also knew those that saw the ex-professor's violence, usually deserved it. What the red-head did was almost like a community service. He got rid of all the rude, and left the rest to live their lives. So with all of this knowledge under him, Tetch was pretty sure he was safe from his friend's anger.

Before Jervis could reply, the doorbell buzzed. It indicated that their guest were finally there. It was time to let the games begin.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, the hatter went to answer the door. "It's show time!"

~0~0~0~

"Mr. Smith, I had no idea that your lover was this charming!"

It had been a few moments since they all introduced themselves. Mister and Miss Ashen and Ivory White were sitting at the dining room table. The Mad Hatter, who introduced himself as "Jervis Johnson", was placed next to the ex master of fear. To the married couple, they thought the two men made an odd-yet somehow adorable- pair.

Mrs. White took a bite from her plate. "Oh! And he can cook! You outdid yourself, Mr. Johnson."

"Why thank you, dear. My mother always told me that a man shouldn't rely on another to feed him." The blonde flashed a Cheshire grin. "That and I've always loved to cook."

Ashen, an ebony haired fellow, noticed something strange. "Smith, you've barely said a thing. Are you feeling quite all right?"

"Just peachy," Crane replied with sarcasm.

"Ah, one of the quiet types. Johnson must have had a challenge catching him, don't you say dear?"

"I agree. But you know the saying, honey, 'Opposites attract'. " The blonde woman giggled.

"Yes…But while we are on the subject. How _did_ you two meet?"

The two intellectuals had been ready for this. They had practically rehearsed and arranged their story since they knew about the dinner. Jonathan smirked secretively.

"We met, over five years ago, at Gotham's annual book fair."

"Oh yes," Tetch said with a hidden glee, "And I was practically smitten at first sight. You see, I was there to receive a copy of the annotated Hunting of the Snark. And we, well, happened to run into each other."

The red-head frowned. "Don't you mean _literally_ ran into each other? You practically bulldozed me."

"Yes yes, all the same. I quickly dusted myself off, and apologized. Jonathan, however, looked as if he was about to explode. You know how a cobra poses itself before it strikes? Well, he had that same look."

Ivory interjected. "So…if that was your first encounter, how did you become this close?"

The blue eyed man sipped his tea. "I was getting to that, my dear. I did the only thing I knew how: I made a peace offering. I noticed the books that were dropped in our collision. There was my copy, and then there was his Legend of Sleepy Hollow. So, I paid for both of ours. 'Twas only fair, you know."

"And he wouldn't stop bothering me, after that."

"Oh come now, it was only coincidence! As if I knew we went to the same places." The hatter turned back to his guest. "So, I couldn't take it any longer. If we were going to keep bumping into each other, I just simply had to ask him out for tea!"

The ex-professor scoffed. "And as you can see, we haven't been separated since."

The Scarecrow was quite proud of himself. The fabricated tale, even down to the little bickering, had all been calculated. Knowing the human mind and emotions, the brown eyed man knew just what to add to get the right reaction. He had to admit, though, Tetch did a marvelous job telling it. It was no wonder, when they were criminals, why they worked so well together.

The woman sighed dreamily. "Oh Ashen, that was so romantic."

"Yes, indeed it was."

"That just settles it. Mister Smith, you and your lover simply HAVE to tell the story at next week's office Halloween party!"

The lanky man turned as white as a sheet. "W-we…are having a costume party."

"Yes, and it's simply mandatory that every employee comes with a date. So of course Johnson shall come."

"A party? Oh my, how frabjous! Don't worry, my dear, we shan't miss it for the world."

Oh dear god, Crane was reeeeally starting to contemplate locking himself back up in Arkham. Either that or a killing spree sounded nice about now…

All in all, he hated life at this moment.

~0~0~0~

END OF CHAPTER THREE

~0~0~0~

AN:

Eh, not much to say, really. But I AM going to enjoy the next two chapters. One is about the party, and another is more…domestic. Oh well. Take that, Chuck Norris!


	4. For the Love of Cake and Tea!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **To Get a Job**

**To Get a Job**

**Chapter Four: **   
For the Love of Cake and Tea!

**By: **DrakkenWasHere

**WARNING:** Implied Scarecrow/Hatter. However…Not how you think.

**Disclaimer:** I obviously don't own squat. I wish I did…But alas, I am merely a humble person. Batman and all of its characters go to DC comics. Any other characters may or may not be mine. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave five each. If I do the cha-cha like a sissy girl, leave a comment.

**Summary:** When a certain two villains wish to retire from crime, how low would one go to get a job?

~0~0~0~

"Tea time makes me happy. It also makes people stare at me, when I start talking to the dessert."

~Lemel Takk (the Author)

~0~0~0~

Whomever thought up "shopping" as a fun past time, needed to be shot. Or at least, Jonathan Crane thought so. The two ex-criminals had been going from one store to the next, all throughout the day. It was all for the sole purpose of buying some costumes. The red-head grumbled.

"Come now," his companion tried to cheer him up. "No need to look that way. We'll eventually find something to wear. I know it just as I know ferrets are ferrets!"

"The reason _why _it's taking so long is because you won't pick a dang costume."

Jervis pouted. "That's merely because nothing has met my taste."

"_That's _only because you want to wear your Mad Hatter attire!"

The once master of fear was irritated. He was tired, bored, and…Maybe a little hungry.

And as a sixth sense, the blonde just knew that was the case.

"Now now, love, you're just cross because you want a bite to eat." He took out his watch. "And no wonder; look at the time! It's already teatime."

Scarecrow scoffed. "With you, it always is."

The Mad Hatter chose to ignore the statement, as he searched for a restaurant. Spotting one, he grabbed his friend's wrist and dashed in that direction.

"'Will you walk a little faster,' said a whitening to a snail…"

~0~0~0~

Tea…Thank Lewis Carroll for it! It could go with practically every meal. In fact, it was what the two pretend lovers were drinking during their supper. Jervis virtually smiled into his drink.

"Ah," his blue orbs twinkled, "Tea…Such a delightful invention. In fact, I know nothing that can meet it in comparison."

"I can think of something."

Tetch was flabbergasted. "Say what? I beg your pardon, but…Were you implying that there _is_ something better?"

"Yes," the lanky man took another bite of his dessert. "I know _exactly _what tops your precious tea."

"Do tell."

"Cake."

It was a well known fact amongst villains, that the Scarecrow had a big sweet tooth. If one could be so bold, the rouges would say he had the largest. He might be callous at the best of times, but put a slice of ginger cake in front of him…Let's just say it's almost embarrassing how cheerful the ex-professor becomes. It was almost as scary as his toxins, if not more.

The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; he couldn't believe what he had just heard. He quickly got back his demeanor. "I'm sorry Jonathan, but cake doesn't even hold a candle next to the elixir of pure class and joy."

"I'm not sorry, and it torches your poison of a drink."

"Well I'll never, tea isn't poison! I never drink from a bottle marked poison." The blonde scowled. "At least tea is marginally healthy in comparison."

The honey eyed man smirked. "Of course it is. Something that tastes so fine can't be good for you. Cake is kind of devious like that."

Meanwhile, as their voices gradually got louder and louder, people began to watch them in amusement. It was such an odd site to see seemingly intelligent men having such an idiotic argument. And the place they now lived had that "small town" kind of feel. So everyone knew everything about their neighbors. Especially about the two men locked in a lovers' spat.

A pair of young women was watching from across the room, giggling to themselves. One was a red-head while the other was an ebony haired lass. They began to laugh heartier, when the men started to shout "Tea!" and "Cake!" at each other. But there was another reason why they expressed such mirth. It was because they knew the true answer.

Nothing was better than pie.

~0~0~0~

END OF CHAPTER FOUR

~0~0~0~

AN:

*Facepalm* Oh god…I actually just wrote a whole chapter that was based on two ex-criminal arguing over food. Should I be shot over this? Heh. Either way, I had fun. And next chapter we get to go to the party! OH JOY!

Now the age old question: Tea or cake? Personally, I like both…But I like tea a little more. Oh, come on! Don't give me that look. It's because I think, no matter if you're male or female, you'll look 10 times sexier if you're drinking it. (But none over 60. :P) I don't know…Tea seems so classy. And there are tea parties. I've never heard of a "cake party". And for that reason, tea wins for me.

But what do you guys think?

Don't forget to send me any odd references you'd like for me to add in. Heck, I got two going into the next chapter. And I made a _Pinky and the Brain _and a _Dumbo_ reference in the last chapters. Heck, this one is chalk full of them. It doesn't matter how random it is.

Tootles guys, I'm going to go start the next piece.


	5. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **To Get a Job**

**To Get a Job**

**Chapter Five: **   
Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

**By: **DrakkenWasHere

**WARNING:** Implied Scarecrow/Hatter. However…Not how you think.

**Disclaimer:** I obviously don't own squat. I wish I did…But alas, I am merely a humble person. Batman and all of its characters go to DC comics. Any other characters may or may not be mine. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave five each. If you think these shoes matches this shirt, leave a comment.

**Summary:** When a certain two villains wish to retire from crime, how low would one go to get a job?

~0~0~0~

"Ya know, I love Halloween. It's the only day I feel like myself…Except I'm dressed as someone else."

~Lemel Takk (the Author)

~0~0~0~

Pink Floyd. That's not even a proper sentence, but that utterance would tell you everything you needed to know. The two pretend lovers walked into the office room. And _Dark Side of the Moon_ was what met their ears. Crane snarled in bewilderment. He was expecting "Thriller", "Ghostbusters", or even "The Monster Mash"…But who in their right mind thinks of a Pink Floyd album for a Halloween party?

His answer had just walked up to him.

"Jonathan! Jervis! Glad you could make it."

"We didn't really have a choice."

The lanky man glared at the fully red clad woman. She even wore a long fake brunette hair piece under her hat. The woman smiled.

"Oh come now, Holmes, I think you can spare your evening away from one case."

Crane, dressed as the famous Sherlock Holmes, spoke with sarcasm. "Coming from a female villain that spends her time unintentionally educating children? Oh yes, I'll agree with that."

His "lover" chose the attire of Dr. Watson. When they both saw the costumes…they immediately agreed that they MUST have it. It just fit them so well. And even the red-head had to see eye to eye with Jervis; they did look splendid in them.

"Come now, Jonathan, no need to be rude to your superior."

"Thank you, Jervis; I'm glad someone is protecting me from the big bad Smith."

"Speaking of protecting," The brown eyed man looked around. "Where is your husband? Everyone must bring a date, right?"

Ivory smirked. "Of course he is around. Probably dancing with the others."

And as if like magic, the man walked over towards with wife. Or should one say: "SHE walked over towards HER wife"? For, you see, Ashen White was dressed as an eerily familiar woman. The cross-dresser put an arm around Ivory.

"Gentlemen, glad you could make it."

Dr. Watson felt as if his face would split into pieces. He was just smiling that broadly. In excitement, Jervis grabbed his companion's arm. "Oh look, Jonathan, he looks just like your boss!"

Mr. White smiled along. "Well, I wanted to find something delightfully frightening. So I pick the most terrifying thing I could find-the misses."

(He was then playfully jabbed in the stomach.)

The red-head smirked. "Yes. The perfect thing to scare the children." Crane was about to continue picking on his employer, when he was startled by what happened next.

"Jonathan," the ex-criminal shouted with glee, "Look! It's the David Bowie character. We must get a closer inspection!"

The lanky man found himself being dragged by his friend. He cringed at what he saw what they were racing towards.

"Oh no…Not him!"

~0~0~0~

Harold. Of all the people to wear a Jareth costume, it was him. He wanted to be angry at Tetch for being such a huge Labyrinth fan, but couldn't find it in him to do so. However, he could hate Harold. He was such a jerk, very much like the ghosts of Crane's past.

They finally reached him, and the blonde gave his usual Cheshire grin. "You remind me of the babe."

Sherlock Holmes wanted to say something sarcastic. But before he could…that MAN smiled back. "What babe?"

"The babe with the power."

"What power?"

"The power of the voodoo. "

"Who do?"

"You do!"

"Do what?"

"Remind me of the babe."

They both ended in a fit of mirth. All the while, the lanky man felt ashamed for them. Dear Poe, what was these guys' problem?

Harold finally found himself calming down. He wiped the tears from his eyes, being careful not to smear his make-up. "Ah, Smith. So THIS must be your boyfriend. And here I feared he'd be a stick in the mud like you."

"No, he isn't." The red-head couldn't explain why, but he really didn't like how the man was eye-balling his friend. It looked as if he was checking Tetch out in approval. Deciding that if what he thought the Bowie fiend was doing was indeed his actual intentions, Crane decided to aggravate him. The ex-professor put a false loving arm around the waist of his "lover". He was pleased with the scowl it invoked.

All the while, the blonde continued to be his little fan boy self. Jervis didn't even notice the little battle over him. "Oh look, love, he even has it down to the glitter. Isn't it a wonderful costume?"

"Indeed it is."

Before the Jareth wannabe could say anything in reply, he was interrupted by another fanatic wail.

"There is the Cat in the Hat too!"

Even though the lanky man was dragged off, yet again, he couldn't help but smile this time. While looking back over his shoulder, Crane saw just how disappointed Harold looked.

"Ha! Victory!"

~0~0~0~

So that's basically how the night went. Jervis was constantly jumping from one person to the next, being equally excited about everyone's attire. After awhile, that started to become stale for even him. So, somehow, Doctor Watson and Holmes found themselves yet again chatting with Carmen Sandiego.

"Really? I didn't know that." Mrs. White smiled. "You are quite an expert on literature, Mr. Johnson. You and that Smith, you make such a perfect couple."

The hatter found himself blushing awkwardly, as Crane remained silent. The tall man was doing his best to block everything out. Except he couldn't block out the woman's next words.

"So when ARE you guys planning on getting married?'

Oh no.

The blonde tried to save them both, he too fearing where this was heading. "Er, well, we haven't really discussed it…"

"Why not? You two have been a couple for like five years."

Jervis quickly came up with a lie, impressing his friend. "We just don't have the funds to do such a thing."

Ivory smiled. "Then that settles it!"

Dear lord, no!

Crane dared to ask. "That settles WHAT exactly?"

"I'll plan and pay for the wedding for you! No ands, ifs, or buts."

In other words: they had no choice. And both of the men could all ready tell that this wasn't going to be pleasant in the least.

~0~0~0~

END OF CHAPTER FIVE

~0~0~0~

AN:

Heh…David Bowie. XD

So here is your early Halloween present. Just be glad someone convinced me to post it early. I WAS going to wait till the 31st.


End file.
